This past year has been a challenge and its nothing I can't handle. But I wish that I could say that I have not got my hopes up with things that have been presented to us as family and to Jason. I am still trying to train my heart and mind to not get my hopes up if something doesn't go as planned. In my life there is no planning, its just go with the flow. I have a little bit more to go before I can just not cry about it and let it get me down. I feel like I have to have a heart and mind with no feelings cause they are going to get stepped on again and again. I know thats not the case at all, I just have to handle challenges with grace and look at it that it could be worse. It actually can be worse but hey its not, I am very blessed that its not worse. This past year has been one of the BIGGEST challenges that I have and there will be many more to come to experience.
Some of those experiences will be not so good ones and some that will be awesome. It"s just part of the adventure I am on called the Military life. I am just beginning to find out just how strong I am in this life and how am I supposed to deal with certain things that are presented to me and our family. I know that by the time that Jason is home I will have it all figured out and this life was mement for me cause god wouldn't have let me live it if I couldn't handle it. Also that I am so very blessed to be apart of it and to see where it takes us as a family.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
This past Thanksgiving was a special one for the three of us. The three of us got to spend it together. I didn't really expect us even getting to do that at all. I didn't think I would even get to see Jason till right after my birthday, so I already had my mind and my mental state ready for that. I can't complain at all that Amelia and I have 2 weeks with him in the middle of this deployment that isn’t quite a yearlong but long enough for us to get the R&R. We took advantage of the time to surprise his mom since I was already going to be there so they could spend time with me and Mia for a holiday. Little did she know, she was going to get a 6' 1" Thanksgiving and Christmas present all in one day. We went and got him this past Wed night. His dad and I made the excuse that we needed to go to Walmart for something, but instead we went to pick up Jason at the Corpus Christi airport. Just as we pulled into the neighborhood he called her and made her think he was still half way across the world getting up for the day. As he was talking to our daughter on the phone he walked in the house in the middle of it. She was sitting in her chair feeding Mia and she just cried. She was speechless that he was here just to see her and of course me and Mia. He looked at Mia and smiled and she just gave him the biggest simile I have ever seen her given her daddy. As he held her for the first time in 2 and half months and she had been talking to him on the phone and smiling knowing that voice was daddy. But it didn't faze her that she didn't know that face dressed in multicam and wearing combat boots. As I was writing about this little priceless moment between father and daughter, I was just shedding a tear or two.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
So I Haven't written in this thing for a week or so.Today as I woke up talking to Jason on the phone and emailing him like I usually do every morning and night before bed for a couple of hrs and skyping before he goes into work so that he can see Mia before she heads off to bed or sometime she is just laying there playing in her crib and I just go wake her for a brief couple of minutes to have daddy daughter time. Also it kinda like our time to see each other and say good morning and good night and so it's like were still getting our time together face to face. I love getting to see his I just woke up sleepy face with his glasses on. He looks like Mister professor in them hehehe. I am just glad during these now that its the first of November and we have 8 months left but hey who's counting hahah. I am just so blessed that we have technology to keep up with each other since we are half a world apart and he goes to bed around 11 pm or 12 noon our time and he wakes up as I am going to bed at 10 pm. I am just so blessed to be able to talk to him as much as I do. Because, I didn't think I would have the ability to communicate as much as we do with the emails , phone calls and skyping. So its like he still here in a way and that comforts me in a small way during these times.
Also I am glad that were not like it was during the Vietnam war where the spouses had to write letters and there husbands were gone for a couple of years or more. I am going to admit I don't think I could even last that long during those times with no communication. I admire those women who did do that and maintain the house and practically were single mothers and didn't know ANYTHING going on with there husbands like we do. when we get updates through the Vfrg site, Earmy messaging and hearing it from our spouses as well and getting to have R&R too. Cause I don't think they had that back then like we do now and have 15days in the middle or when ever he can take it.
So I am very grateful to be able to talk to Jason everyday when I wake up and before I go to bed and I love the conversations we have while he is at work talking to me. I am also very lucky to say that my husband isn't out on missions or patrols but those hubby's that are out there doing it are doing an awesome job out there and I know there spouses back home are proud of them as well. But even tho I talk to him everyday I still miss being able to wake up next to him, have our daily family routine and see him come home after work everyday putting those boots by the door and the ACU uniform on the chair laid out for the next morning. I love kissing him goodbye every morning as he goes to work and seeing him in his uniform cause we all know every military wife LOVES a man in uniform hahaha. I love seeing him hold Mia and the way they interact with each other and when he calls and she hears his voice and her face lights up when she hears daddy voice cause she know who it is and she looks around the room for him.
so yes I am VERY BLESSED to have the technology and the communication have today. Oh and Mia N I are getting a early present from daddy this month. I am not telling what it is those of you who know what it is shhhh its a secret. I will tell everyone after we get it.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
As I was driving home from my doctors appointment. I got to thinking what the real meaning of the saying " Distance makes the heart grow fonder" and what it meant to me. with Jason being gone and me here at my parents house again. It's kinda weird and hard at times when it comes to Mia and I. Just having to get used to telling someone how things go when it comes to Mia and I am just used to Jason knowing what to do. Also its kinda hard to talk to those 2 people when it comes to stuff about Jason and I. But at least I have 3 of my good friends to talk to about it all and you know who you are and I also have Jason to talk about it as well. As were only 2 weeks away from the one month mark until June, every single day I have started to fall deeper in love with my husband,best friend, and the one I look forward to waking up to for the rest of my life. Now the meaning of ARMY WIFE and being CAPTAIN RANDOLPH'S WIFE has a whole new meaning to me. I don't think I am ever been more proud of him for what he is doing. I know he loves doing his job everyday as it has its ups and downs. When he's gone and I am sure I can speak for the rest of the Army wives who are or have gone through a deployment. That you start to really appreciate the life we are so honored to live and the adventure of it all as there are sometimes you just wish you were normal and didn't move so many places and you didn't have to say your see you laters. As you man the house hold everyday weather it be for a short time or a long time it never gets easier. Yea I live at home with family and I appreciate that soo much but to me this isn't HOME its just temporary. my home is where the 3 of us and the pets are living. As we do our daily routine we have everyday. As I see the combat boots by the front door with his hat and ACU jacket and as he comes in and tells me all the interesting stuff that went on at work just makes it all complete and a HOME no matter what state or city we live in. I am also thankful to be able have the opportunity to live in so many places that many people wouldn't live in. New experiences ,people to meet, things to do. I know this is also a time for me to achieve some goals I have to keep me busy and to become a better person not only for me but for my Jason and Mia. As I sit here typing this drink my morning cup coffee going over what I need to do today. I am living a life a army life that I didn't t think I would ever live, but now that I am I wouldn't change it for the world. I could never be any happier of the man I married, cause he is the man I had always looked for and now that I have him its like my life and adventures of our new chapter have just began. In the words of Mary Katherine Davenport " It is what it is and everything works out for the better oh and its all down hill from here heheh."